A REMINDER OF THE HARDEST DAYS

Grief has a strange way of growing with you. At a young age, you learn what it feels like to carry an absence before you even understand what absence truly means. You spend years believing that healing means filling empty spaces, only to realise that some spaces are never meant to be replaced — only carried differently.

As life moves forward, people leave in different ways. Some drift with time, some with distance, and some remain close enough to remember but far enough to become memories. Each goodbye teaches a different kind of ache. And then one day, you stand at another ending — not losing someone from the world, but losing them from your world. Somehow, that grief feels just as heavy.

But grief also changes. In the beginning, it feels like drowning. Later, it becomes waves. And eventually, you realise you are no longer fighting the water — you are learning how to float. You learn that healing is not forgetting, and moving forward is not betrayal. It is simply choosing to keep living, even after life has changed shape around you.

Maybe coming out of grief is not about leaving it behind. Maybe it is about finally understanding that you can carry sadness and still make room for joy.

I just wonder how my life would be around that one person if he still were in my life >

MY BELOVED CHARLIE ❤️ 

I've started searching you in all your places .

I'm still trying to close the gate in 0.1 sec thinking i'll have to run behind you otherwise .

I still talk about you to my new residents at work place like you still haven't left yet .My heart still aches in sadness, and tears still flow , what it means to lose you , no one will ever know if i explained .A little over 10 days without you . Your love remains untouched ,your belt remains unwashed like visiting you  every morning where i left you continues. I still remember those eyes that looked out for me in the hospital the last day , i still remember the way you wanted to sleep on me the whole time.

My heart still holds a beat everytime i enter the house,waiting for your gretting that will never come.I miss you everyday .

Charlie my boy, I LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER!

 NOTE

BECAUSE YOU ARE - EASY TO LOVE 

A quick question for you actually , i have a few and give yourself a second to think on these before you answer .

How would you show up in the world for yourself with others if you knew for certain that you were easy to love ?

Hmm?

what would you do differently ?

what would you stop doing all together ?

what would you no longer try to be ?

how would you show up 

And what would that feel like ?

Because 

you may not believe it right now but you are in fact quite easy to love.

My number one 

What’s wrong with me ?

I hate you for a little bit 

And then wish I was with you again .

I can never forget you I’ve tried 

Every single night .

The more I hate 

The more I love 

I see something in your eyes that 

No one else sees .

Till my memories with you start to blur

And I end up with a dream of what we could have been 

I wish i wrote the way i thought ;

Obessively,

Incessantly'

With madderening hunger.

I'd write to the point of suffocation.

I'd write myself into nervous breakdowns,

manuscripts spiralling out like tentacles into abysmal nothing.

And I'd write about you a lot more than i should.

 What is grief , if not Love Perservering ?

Lifeee is all aboutt....

A ray of small hope can bring a person back into their fullest , much like the powerful narratives .

Life often potrays characters facing seemingly insurmountable challenges, whether they are battling personal demons, experiencing profound loss , or dealing with intense professional pressures.Yet, amid these struggles, its the small moments of hope and human connection that ignites their resilience and drive them to overcome adversity. These glimpse of hope can be as simple as a supportive person in life.

Small but significant moments can transform lives and restore faith.we face our battles and moments of doubt. Its important to remember that even the smallest ray of hope can make a profound difference in a persons life.A kind gesture, an unexpected opportunity , or a personal breakthrough can rekindle our spirit and bring us back to out biggest potential .

Embracing hope does not mean ignoring the difficulties we face; it means recognizing the possibility of positive change and allowing us to believe forward.

what is the point in eveything we have been through if we cant channel that to our own betterment ? Its never too late. People can always change. After all in the end i would still promise you to owe you a life.

That is the kind of story life is and should be .we're inevitable!

IMPECCABLE

A person who will never lie to you to spare your feelings or attend something because social constructs deem in the courteous or polite course of action , and who will infact do many things that might make you angry and frustrate.

It is a hard thing to love a good man..

A good man is not a nice man 

-he does things because he has a moral code , a set of values he priorities and will always do his best to make sure that his actions are in line with his own standards.

Sonika Ashok

DEATH

-Unpredictable 

It is not something that you can decide ..

Not something to be scared of..

Until we do find that solution to death-and how appealing it is to think about your bodily presence in this world being something other than your physical body

It might be appropriate to consider how we face the reality of death.

SONIKA ASHOK